You were born with a limitless supply of encouragements. Use every one of them.

Last winter I noticed this small innocuous bit of paper taped to a neighbourhood post-board. On it were the words I have quoted above. It sticks with me to this day and comes to mind frequently.

Are the people around you encouraging? Do conversations you have even get to a point where there is space for encouragement to surface?

I don’t think encouragement from others comes about unless you are being vulnerable to some degree: you share something you’re shyly interested in, you admit that things aren’t going the way you’d like in some situation, you tell someone about a hope or a dream you have for something you’d like to create.

Occasionally, I’m surprised when I put forward a bid of something I’d like encouragement on, and it floats on by unnoticed, my partner in conversation not picking up on the fact that I’d indeed like someone to root for me. In those moments, I feel like a boring houseplant that will go another day unwatered. It’s quite uncomfortable to even write about: this reality where so much of our interactions can seem to come down to an economy of attention: will I be heard, let alone encouraged? When I stop and think about it, it seems silly to hope for encouragement, when just getting someone’s attention can be difficult enough.

But on the act of encouraging: I have been doing this for what feels like quite some time. I think I am an encouraging person. I can hear myself when I say encouraging things. There are many things I don’t do well in life, but being encouraging isn’t one of them. I don’t believe it is entirely altruistic. Sometimes I give in hopes of getting back a return on my investment—I too, would like some encouragement. Other times, I give and I give freely.

Whether genuine, or conflated with ulterior motives, I hold on to hope for encouragement. I keep giving it, because the pool is right next to me. It is a pool that goes deep, deeper than I can plunge, it descenders farther than I can hold my breath. For a long time I have taken from the pool and shared it with others, and now at this stage in my life, I’m slowly learning to restore myself from it on my own accord. To sit by it, in the sun and lounge, and to be encouraged at my own leisure.

We may be born with a limitless supply of encouragement to give, but how many have we deigned to share with ourselves?